Wacky (but hip) actual C&W Song Titles

Can you help with these?

Some great titles.  We hope they're real, but they might not be.  We need to verify by finding out the composer or recording artist.




Elvis Is Dead, And I Don't Feel So Good Myself (A book title by Lewis Grizzard) ?
Her Teeth Were Stained (But Her Heart Was Pure) ? ?
I Changed Her Oil (She Changed My Life) ? ?
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling (May be a  Rosanne wisecrack - probably not a song) ?
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, Then I'd Be Out By Now ? ?
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low (A book title by Lewis Grizzard) ?
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well ? ?
I've Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral ? ?
My Everyday Silver Is Plastic ? ?
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart ? ?
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart ? ?

Unknown C&W titles   Top 15 Jewish C&W titles   Top 13 rejected C&W titles


Okay, these aren't real.  But they're in the spirit, even if the premise is goofy.  This list has been making the internet rounds:   Might as well archive it here.

The Top 15 Jewish
C&W Song Titles


I Was One Of The Chosen People
('Til She Chose Somebody Else)
Honky Tonk Nights On The Golan Heights
I've Got My Foot On The Glass, Where Are You?
My Rowdy Friend Elijah's Comin' Over Tonight
New Bottle Of Whiskey, Same Old Testament
Stand by Your Mensch
Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Latkes
I Balanced Your Books, But You're Breakin' My Heart
My Darlin's A Schmendrick And I'm All Verklempt
That Shiksa Done Made Off With My Heart Like A Goniff
The Second Time She Said "Shalom",
I Knew She Meant "Goodbye"
You're the Lox My Bagel's Been Missin'
You've Been Talkin' Hebrew In Your Sleep
Since That Rabbi Came To Town
Why Don't We Get Drunk?  We're Jews!
Mamas Don't Let Their Ungrateful Sons Grow Up to Be Cowboys (When You Could Very Easily Have Taken Over The Family Hardware Business That My Own Father Broke His Back To Start And Your Father Sweated Over For Forty Five Years Which Apparently Doesn't Mean Anything To You Now That You're Turning Your Back On Such A Gift To Ride Around All Day On Some Meshuggenah Horse)


Unknown C&W titles   Top 15 Jewish C&W titles   Top 13 rejected C&W titles


These aren't real either, but they're also in the spirit of the page.

The Top 13 Rejected
C&W Song Titles


The Trailer Sure Seems Lonely
Now That You and Our Nine Kids Are Gone 
You Can Take the Boy Outta the Country,
but You Can't Take the Bullets Outta That Liberal City-Boy Who Just Cut Me Off in His Saab
Smells Like Team Roping 
I Dropped the Bookcase On My Darlin' and Pleaded Shelf Defense
(Her Bar Tab Is a) Leading Economic Indicator
I Thought I Had Tourette's, But I Just Like Talkin' Dirty To You 
You're My Kleenex of Love, and I'm Afraid I'm Gonna Blow It
Bacon and Eczema For Two 
Achy, Breaky, Hanky, Panky,
Am I Drunk or Are You Skanky?
The Ballad of Pretty Mouth Dan
My Urine is A-Burnin', and
You'd Better Believe I'm Pissed
Tearstains on My Pillow Are the
Only Wet Spots in My Bed 
I Can't Stop Thinkin' About Cowboys
(And I'm a Cowboy, Too)