Are you weary of giving voice to the same tired old invectives
rubes intrude upon your serenity?
Don't you wish you could inveigh your enemy
genuinely classic put-down?
With this handy-dandy SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT KIT,
you can have the spleen of
The Bard at your disposal!
time someone cuts you off in traffic,
or a clerk behaves rudely,
stun them with your
lexicographical command of vituperation.
Combine one selection from each of the four
lists below, and impale your unsuspecting foe.
gentlemen, with your best John Gielgud imitation,
(ladies, Glenda Jackson will do nicely) ...
read it out loud. LOUD!
Feels good, doesn't it?
thee also to these sites of great mirth;